My life is so crazy right now that there are times when I can hardly breathe. Literally. I have upped the morning coffee to two cups, and I am eating like a nursing mom, except I'm not nursing. I find that if I don't get enough protein, I get the shakes. My mind is constantly in overdrive, my body is constantly doing ten things at once, and my heart is constantly processing. If I don't stay on my A-game from sunup until bedtime, I loose the lead and the children begin unraveling, all four of them, followed shortly after by my own coming undone.
Like my friends, Sonya and Travis said last fall when they brought Lily home, I'm not sure how much of the craziness is adoption-related, and how much is because I have four kids all of a sudden (one of whom speaks adorable Cantonese, but no English, and likes to unscrew every cap in the house). Jubilee is as smart as a whip, though, and catching on to her new white-faced, peanut butter-eating world pretty quickly. She can already say - in addition to "Daddy" - "Bye-bye," "potty," "down," "Uh-oh," and "good girl." She is going to bed on her own, in her own room, with only a few tears, and sleeping all night. HUGE turnaround from four days ago, when she was sitting at Subway with Daniel and me in Guangzhou, at just before midnight, sucking down a mango juice and nibbling on Daddy's potato chips because she would absolutely not go to sleep.
We really can't complain at ALL. Jubilee is a phenomenal little girl. We are of the opinion that the L0RD has never made a more wonderful little girl, but we are supposed to feel that way about our only daughter. When the time is right, we will start disciplining her, and she will stop knocking me over the head with her toy. Until then, we will hold her when she grieves, and cheer for her when she shares, and remember that in the midst of our bone-crushing exhaustion, our help comes from the L0RD, maker of heaven and earth.
In addition to that, I will keep blogging. I shouldn't, I know. I shouldn't have the time or the energy, but writing keeps me attached to sanity, and sanity is good.