September 14, 2011

love is learned

When I had my second child in 2007, I asked my mentor and dear, dear friend Allison HOW she got two teenagers who naturally get along.  She said, point blank, "They don't.  I have never allowed them not to."

I had never considered that before.  Not giving one's children the option of not getting along.  Not allowing a moment of strife to go unresolved.  Not allowing eye-rolling and huffy tones.  Reminding the children all day, every day, that they love each other, and that they are to strive to love each other, in all things, at all times.  My boys are tough roughnecks, but they can be seen sharing their feelings with each other on the rug, apologizing, forgiving, hugging and kissing.

Giving and receiving love is learned, and I am this subject's greatest pupil.  You can ask Daniel and the kids.  I am right there with them on the rug.

So, among many, many other things (like we don't pull all the DVDs out of the DVD book and scatter them all over the living room), we are teaching our precious Jubilee to love her brothers, particularly Brave.  It is clear that this is a brand new concept for her.  I'm pretty sure she never before saw other children as anything but a threat.  It takes a lot of hands-on diligence on my part, assuring her and encouraging her and modeling love for her, but she is catching on.

Jubilee is learning to love and be loved.  Welcome to the hardest class you'll ever take, my sweet little girl.  My prayer is that these lessons will lead you to the great, faithful arms of True Love himself.