December 10, 2010

Words aren't enough

I posted the other day about the tragic death of my 7-year-old cousin, Karter, but I retracted my words a few days later because they weren't good enough.  I'm about to write more words that aren't good enough, but I can't just publish nothing, so I will try again.

I sit here in East Asia, longing to wrap my arms around my cousin Ryan (Karter's father), and my Aunt Sandy, and my other cousins and uncles and grandma and my mom.  The thing is, my hands are tied here on the other side of the world.  My cousin, Jason, flew in to Michigan for the funeral from New York, and said he would have walked if he had to.  I would have walked there, too, if I could have.  I really would have.

I want Ryan to know that I have seen you with your boys, and you are a fabulous dad.  Karter lived his life happy and loved, that was clear.  I can't imagine what you are going through.  As a mom, I weep with you.  As your cousin, I ache with you.  I am praying for you and Kaleb and the rest of our family.  I am praying every day.  Daniel is praying, too, and so are Bright and Zion.  May you feel the love of our heavenly father, and may that carry you through.