a note from Daniel

Daniel emailed this note to our friends in our city, and I thought it was such GOOD news and so much more level-headed and first-hand than what I've been reporting, that I wanted to post it on the blog.

Hey Guys,

I’m just now getting to email so I wanted to update you on what’s happening and to say thanks to each one of you for helping out my family – really, I’m not sure if we could do this without the support you guys have given.

I’ll try to make it short – 2 things can happen when you’ve got a swollen lymph node on your intestine, the first is what happened last year, the second is what’s happening now.  I don’t know the name of the condition but it sounds like a city in Lord of the Rings.  Basically, he’s been really uncomfortable, and barely able to poop.  So uncomfortable that his appetite has been very low, which means he’s been getting almost no liquids from foods and has gotten dehydrated.  That’s why he’s had pain during urination and very little actual fluid – something which had initially concerned us a great deal. 

Now, he’s been on fluids since we’ve gotten here and he’s peeing a lot, he’s pooped twice and each one has happened with less pain.  The docs say from his stool samples and blood work that he probably got a viral infection in his intestine from something (i.e. China) and that’s what caused the node to swell up.  If the node will go down on his own as his body fights the infection, then he’ll get more comfortable and will not need surgery.  If they do not continue to go down, then they will re-evaluate.  This morning was a real low point in his overall state, but from about 11am until bedtime tonight he continually improved though still having some pain.

Hopefully tomorrow he will be even better – if that’s the case, then you could expect us back sometime in the middle of the week.  If he continues to have pain, and they re-run the ultrasound to find the node is still swollen, then I’m not sure what will happen.

Thanks again for your prayers!

Daniel

my little gift

Docs are now saying mesenteric lymphadenitis. He has an enlarged lymph node on his intestine, the same one which caused intussuception last year, and that is the supposed culprit. This condition causes abdominal pain, and clears up on its own.  Problem is, this diagnosis does not explain his crotch pain or his difficulty peeing.  

Perhaps this mystery will never be solved.  At this point I don't care.  I just want Daniel to bring me a healthy baby boy at some point.  

For now, the three kids left in my care have been tucked in, I have shed so many tears my eyes are dry and burning, and the house needs desperate attention.  I think I'll go wash my dishes, since my dishwasher is not electric, but has two lovely brown hands, and those hands are still wringing with grief in a faraway village.

But before I put on the JJ Heller music and fill the sink with hot soapy water, I will leave you with this happy little story.  Let me first tell you that bonding between a mother and an adopted toddler daughter is...delicate, at best, and bumpy at worst.  We've had our struggles.  Tonight, however, I realized something brand new:  Jubilee is, among many other things, a little gift just for me.  As I sat on the edge of my bed after dinner, unloading tears to my precious L0RD, I heard the pit pat of little feet behind me.  I knew they weren't Bright's or Zion's, for I could hear their voices playing pretend in the living room, resilient amidst the pain and confusion going on in their world.  Such is the way with boys and men.  Resilient.  No, the little feet belonged to a future woman, one with silky black bangs and a soft voice.  She stopped at the edge of the bed.  

"Mommy sad?"  she asked lightly.
I nodded my head and opened an arm to her.  She crawled in, and laid her head against my sweatshirt.  
"I uv oo Mommy," she said.  
"Oh darlin," I said, and kissed her hair, "Mommy loves Jubilee."

She snuggled closer.  The boys continued to whir and crash and laugh in the other room.  In that moment, I realized that I have been given a forever hug, a forever listening ear, and forever warmth in my coldest hours.  My little gift. 

please help us solve this mystery

Our friend Roger told us recently that our life could be a reality TV show.  I am starting to think he's right.  What would we call it...hmmm.  "Daniel and Kayla's Chaos," perhaps.

So there are three pieces of good news.
1.) I am still a believer (in case my brutal honesty the other day freaked anybody out;) 
2.) Brave is able, eventually, to urinate (though it is very painful) and poop is happening too, though also very painfully.
3.) Kidney function test came back normal

There are three pieces of bad news.
1.) He is now acting more sick and tired, and the pain seems to be getting worse.
2.) They are still stumped.
3.) I am a nervous wreck.

If anyone is a doctor, or knows a doctor, who knows why my son would have the following symptoms, PLEASE comment.
-Started with diahrea
-Then loss of appetite, not wanting to drink
-Then two days of saying his tummy hurt, touching his lower abdomen and crotch
-Then crying when he pooped, and seemed backed up, but stool when he did poop was loose
-Then long periods without peeing, and screaming when he did pee
-Now tired-acting, still going long periods without peeing and pooping, crying in pain when either happens.  He is on fluids, and it seems to be getting worse.  Ruled out kidney problem and bacterial infection.  Doc saying severe dehydration, waiting and watching.  I'm not comfortable with that.  I know my kid, and this is not right. 

Please help us solve this mystery!  Thank you for your prayers.

waste disposal update

Talked to Daniel.  Brave is on fluids, ate soup, and is down now for the night.  The nurses on Ward 7 left the light on for him from his peanut incident, so he felt right at home.

Sheesh, that kid.

Anyway, a better look at his intestines left the docs almost ready to rule out his bum lymph node as the culprit this time.  The thought right now is that his waste-disposal systems haven't been functioning on account of severe dehydration.  Now that's weird.  It's not like he ever stopped drinking.  I mean, he did have diarrhea last week, but we live in East Asia - that's like noting that the wind blew.

Either way, a night on fluids should be very telling.  Usually when he's on fluids I have to change his diaper ever couple of hours.  Those Huggies set absorbency records on kids hooked up to IVs.  A dry diaper tomorrow morning would be scary, and very painful for him, at which point the docs would be extremely concerned.

They don't expect that.  They expect to get him back on his feet and out the door in a few days.  Whew.

Of course they'll run all the tests: stool, urine, blood, checking for proper kidney function, disease, and infection, but they don't expect to turn up anything.

Again, whew.

The litmus test will be his pain level.  If he is comfortable "down there" tomorrow, then we are in the clear.  If not, then we are all incredibly stumped.

I go to bed now with a heart much encouraged, and hoping to hear that Brave woke up soaked from his widows' peak to his little fat feet.

without a doubt

Have you ever doubted?  Have you ever wondered if all that you believe in is bunk?  If your answer is, "No, of course not!" then you either live your life completely at the epidermis, or you are in denial.

This morning was a low point for me.  Even with Daniel's parting words ringing in my ears, "You're job while I'm gone is not to think, but to trust," I was still so full of anxiety I could hardly see straight.  Worry played its seductive tune to every cell in my brain, until I found myself looking at the boys' natural history books and thinking, "What about the dinosaurs?  How can we explain that, really, in the context of Noah and his ark and all the rest?"

A few minutes down the road, after I failed Jubilee miserably, I retreated to the other room alone.  There I cried out to G0D.  "L0RD," I sobbed, "I am so afraid for Brave.  It is causing me to doubt, and to be mean, and to feel downright horrible.  Please, L0RD, give me a sign that you are here.  Remind me of where I've come with you.  Help!"

Next, I checked my email.  There was a note from my mom, saying that she was praying, and saying that she had read a verse in Psa1ms and was claiming it for me today.  Chapter 29, verse 11.  I read it and felt a little better.  It was nice to hear from my mom.

Then things got downright creepy. As I set about unpacking the box that Mandy just sent in the mail, I lifted out a lovely daily devotional by Sarah Young and, figuring it couldn't hurt, opened it to today's date.  The words were spot-on.  "This is a training opportunity," it read, "since I designed you for deep dependence on your Shepherd-King.  Challenging times wake you up and amplify your awareness of needing my help." (Jes_s Calling, p. 323).

Then...

I looked at the suggested verses at the bottom of the page.  There were four of them.  Four.  Single.  Verses.  Out of the whole entire Bib1e.  One of the verses was Psa1m 29:11.

The verse from my mom.

FREAKY?  Maybe a little.  G0D has a way of freaking us out from time to time.  I asked for a sign, didn't I?  Well, he delivered.  Does that explain the dinosaurs?  Uh, not really.  But who cares about extinct lizards when I have a G0D who cares for me that beautifully?

"The L0RD gives strength to his people; the L0RD blesses his people with peace." -Psa1m 29:11

Yes, He certainly does.  Without a doubt.

soliciting prayers for Brave (again)

Our little pumpkin is having problems with his pooper and his pee-er again.  Both are backed up and he is in pain, saying his "nummy hurts" and grabbing at himself.  Daniel waited all yesterday at the Yun Da hospital for an ultrasound, the results of which revealed Brave's problematic lymph node is once again enlarged.  This is probably causing his intestines to telescope, again, which is probably causing the pain, and backing up the waste.  Our American pediatrician here in town recommended heading back to Bangkok.  This time, the good doctors at Bumrungrad International might decide to remove that section of his intestines, so this stops happening.  Intricate surgery on the intestines of a 2 1/2 year-old does not thrill me.  To make matters worse, I couldn't tag along even if we had the money (which we don't) because Jubilee is still a Chinese citizen and even though Americans do not need visas to jaunt in and out of The Kingdom of Thailand (something about the king offering us a bunch of elephants to help us colonize the new world), Chinese citizens do.  We will apply for a Thai visa for Jubilee on Monday, but it will take at least two days for it to turn around.

Fooey.

So Daniel and brave Brave left on a jet plane early this morning.  Baby boy has an appointment with Dr. Sasithorn at 6:30 p.m.  I will update when I know anything.

Your prayers are being solicited because this time he is having trouble peeing.  That was not part of the equation last time, and urine retention is not a typical symptom of telescoping intestines (intussuception).  American docs here are stumped.  I am nervous.  Thanks SO much for praying.

It is amazing how fast we change gears, in this case from, "G0D Almighty, give me the strength I need to endure another day of whining and teaching little ones to share" to, in an instant, "G0D Almighty, please let my precious little shaver be OK."

There is nothing, NOTHING more valuable on this earth than one's children.  There is nothing that can scare the crap out of a girl faster than a baby with a health glitch.

I will keep you updated.

on a lighter note

While we wait to hear from Xiao Fu (Daniel is back home with us, by the way, and has almost recovered from his emotional, exhausting mountain/mourning road trip), I decided to post some of the lighter, happier details of our life.  

Jubilee's orphanage haircut is finally growing out.  Is it just me, or are we getting a glimpse into the future here?  She's a doll, that for sure.

I am excited to share that I have kept the "I birthed three babies in four years" weight off now for over a year!  I never thought I'd say it, being the wannabe foodie that I am, but smaller portion sizes as a lifestyle really ain't that bad.

Bright, who is just 6 1/2 years old, is reading at a 5th grade reading level (I promise I'm not exaggerating), and he reads with better inflection than me.  Zion, who is just 4 1/2 years old, is reading at a late kindergarten level.  We've got a couple of real bookworms here at Cambridge Garden 3-2-1202.

Brave Ransom eats more than almost everybody at the dinner table...that's something, right?

My grandmother, pictured here with my mom, turns 80 this week.  Happy Birthday, Grandma!  I love you.

And Daniel is doing a bang-up job raising our little men. Here they are fixing the desk chair that pops a screw every time I sit in it (so much for feeling good about my weight).

While Xiao Fu grieves, and while Glory fights, and while Jubilee grapples, and while Daniel shares The News day-in and day-out, and while I train up the children in the way they should go, there is One who is sovereign over it all.  It is His strength, in us, that keeps us keepin' on, and He is waiting for us on the other side of the finish line.