December 26, 2012

Had I known

A late night, post-nightmare photograph.  Cherishing these moments.
Kids don't have a clue what they've got.  I sure didn't.  Had I known half of what I know now -  had I known that I would spend my adult life on the other side of the world - I would have done a lot of things differently.

I would definitely not have wasted all of my afternoons on the soccer field and in the gym.  Instead, I would have come home and helped my mom with dinner (something I never did), or played cards with my brothers (something else I never did).  I would have gone for walks in the evenings in the snow with my dad.  I would have at least asked him about his day.  I wouldn't have argued with my parents about everything.  I would have trusted their judgement, and respected their authority in my life.  I would have listened to their laughter during the sitcom, instead of closing my bedroom door to drown it out, while I talked on the phone.

I wouldn't have dated.  All pain, no gain there.  I would have spent more time outdoors, knowing that one day work and motherhood would keep me inside for weeks at a time.  I certainly wouldn't have wasted a single minute being unkind.  I would have practiced my piano.  I would have paid attention in civics class.  I would have gone to my grandmother's house.

Had I known what I know now.