November 19, 2017

The Respect Effect

When my eldest son turned twelve - or shortly thereafter - my competency as a mother turned sour. I dare say is curdled.

With my other three kids I still knew what I was doing, but when Eugene and I were in the same room, all 12 years of my parenting experience flew out the window. I didn't even know who he was anymore. It was as if my son had gone and this long-haired attitude in a T-shirt stood in his place.

I missed our times together. Our talks. Our laughter. 

I missed my son.

So I prayed. A lot. And talked to a lot of friends who raised sons. And the Lord led me to read this book, by the same author who wrote Love & Respect (the book that saved many of our parents' marriages).

The respect effect.


Who knew that our sons, like our husbands, need our respect more than they need our love? Who knew that we wound them with our disrespect to the same degree that they wound us when they act unloving? Who knew that our husbands and sons don't respond to their wounds the way we and our daughters do? Who knew that boys and men act unloving when they are wounded, which makes us act disrespectfully toward them, which wounds them, which make them act unloving, which makes... you get the picture.

Who knew? Certainly not me!

Now, I know.

I'm telling you, this book blew my mind. It absolutely restructured the way I relate to all of my sons. Most of all, it gave me back my son Eugene!!! I can't say enough about this book. Mothers of sons of any age, please read this book.

NOTE: All of these pics are taken with food! Haha it made me laugh to realize it. I don't know whether it's because my boys are always eating, or if mealtime is the only time I sit down! Or both! Haha.

ALSO NOTE: In one of the pictures, Zion is seated with his buffet selections - marshmallows, pound cake, Doritos, meatballs, and a coke. There couldn't be a more perfect sampling of a 10-year-old boy's idea of a good meal. Ha!