February 16, 2013

pardon me

Watched Les Mis.

Cried like a BABY.  Jackman and Hathaway blew me away.

But what really blew me away is how far short I fall in the grace department.

Jackman's character lives every single day of his new life, and makes every single decision, based on the degree to which he was pardoned.  He sings, "Who am I?"  He knows he deserved to go back to prison, but because the priest extended grace to him (an act that was no skin off the priest's back), Jackman becomes a new man, ultimately impacting generations with love and kindness.

How is it, then, that I so easily forget the degree to which I've been pardoned?  How is it that I get so hung up on the the law, like Crowe's character, unable to put aside what is "just" in order to do or say that which is kind?

I cried for half an hour after watching Les Mis.  My husband sat with me while I cried, which is very noble of him.

"I have doubted G0D'S love for me my whole life," I said.  "And the only answer anyone has given to the 'Does God love me?' question is 'He died for you, didn't he?' But you see that has always fallen short for me.  I would die for lots of people, maybe even a total stranger if I felt sorry enough for her."

"But now I understand that G0D did not show his love for me just by dying for me," I went on.  "Like the priest who forgave Jackman for stealing his silver, and like Jackman who forgave Crowe for stealing his quality of life, G0D forgave me for breaking his heart a million, trillion times.  THAT is harder to do than dying.  THAT is love."